you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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