Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
