Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
