So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
