a queef is a wish your heart makes.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
