Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
