How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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