Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
