he thought i was a dude.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize