Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
my liver is dry heaving
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
