you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
