spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
