If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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