so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
