Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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