dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
