I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
