Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
