she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
