just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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