the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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