Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize
