Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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