We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Someone came in the potted fern
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
