Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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