he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
