margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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