When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
