I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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