i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
