dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
