hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
