He is such a slut. More and more my type.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
