Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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