We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
