I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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