We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
