wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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