We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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