there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
