you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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