Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
