Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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