I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
No...this little piggys going to the bar
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
