She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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