You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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