okay pat passed out under dana's car
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
they need to just BURY HIM!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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