hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
