Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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