Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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