I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
