apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
