no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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