let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
