Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
