I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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