im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
