I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
