her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize