Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
