i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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