i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
